You know, Vegans are a special breed of people. I find them incredibly admirable too. Combine that with Capitalism and we have one of the most remarkable dichotomies in our world today. The iPhone using, brand name wearing, car driving, Vegan, wants to cease animal killing. It’s almost a joke if it weren’t true. To be a Vegan, you must oppose slave labor as well. But they’ll all watch the World Cup this summer on their televisions, inside of their comfy home with electricity and heating, while snuggling into animal fur or slave produced cotton while they protest Kirkland for providing me Smoked Maple Bacon. I mean, it’s almost as if being Vegan could be replaced with the title “Pillage”. This is the logic here: I can Pillage your society but you can’t pillage mine because you’re a goyim. Sorry, that was distasteful, Jew jokes aren’t acceptable to Christians because on judgment day, if you didn’t serve the Jews, Jerusalum will place a wall between you and them. Mind you, slaves are okay, only if you support Israel, not okay if you’re Nike.

There are levels to slavery these days, there are Bangladeshi and Chinese workers in the low class that make all of the things Vegans use every day, then there are Vegans’ whom happen to  wear and enjoy those products while protesting the death of cattle. It’s similar to how there are Christians that oppose China using slaves, but visit Dubai on vacation. If we want to get cancelled, we can speak about how those Christians volunteer to be slaves in Israel for the summer, kind of like how Justin Trudeau opts to wear traditional clothing for a day when he visits other countries. It’s not cultural appropriation, there are just levels to slavery. I’m not saying Trudeau or the Christians are slaves, they’re just goyim. There’s a difference. 

You know, many will frame this joke as anti-semetic rhetoric but if these same words come out of a Rabbi’s mouth or up on a Billboard,  it’s an opportunity. It’s all kind of like how everyone knows Uncle Bob hates the Montreal Canadiens, so anytime you bring up the Leafs with Uncle Bob, you’re bound to get into a fight because he knows you’re not a Leaf fan. Simply not supporting the Leafs for Uncle Bob is enough for you to be a Montreal Canadiens fan in his eyes. That’s how a lot of racists call others racist. Veganism is kind of similar, they’ll protest killing animals, destroying lives and businesses while they enjoy their slave built Capitalism.

Mind you, the reason Chinese, Bangladeshi, Oman and Dubai slaves are accepted in Western Soceity is because they provide us with the means to thrive in Capitalism. When we speak about the Christian Slaves, it’s volunteer. 

So, in theory, at the top of the slave mountain are Vegan’s, and the bottom are those who give Vegan’s the products to make their Vegan goodies + entertainment. Somewhere in between are the volunteers working for free because, heck.. Community Service is an experience, a good deed. It’s even better when you post the experience on social media using your Vegan phone, on your vegan technology with your vegan internet connection. 

Whatever helps you sleep at night, but remember one thing… Vegan’s don’t want to give up slavery, if they did.. They’d join mennonite communities. How do I know they aren’t true to their beliefs? Just go to Starbucks or a Yoga Class. You won’t see Mennonites, but you’ll find a room full of Vegan’s.